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[classification]

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[classification]

He's not, Felix. How many times do we have to go over this?

[douchebag]

[ He stares at the little blinking cursor for a long time. Everything he wants to say either won't solve the problem or will make him look weak. How does he explain how he feels? He doesn't know. Eventually, he makes an attempt. ]

He was. I don't understand why. But he might show up here. So I need to know why so he isn't again.

[classification]

[ He can feel himself getting pissed off over this. He's so tired of talking about the Freelancers. And the sims. ]

He's not. It was the idea of what I thought the Freelancers were. Of what I thought we used to be. Having some sort of purpose beyond getting the biggest credit payout.

[douchebag]

[ So is Felix. That's why he wants to kill them. Then they won't need to talk about them anymore. ]

So you're saying it was the idea of Wash? Not actually Wash?

[ That's better, right? It sounds better. But maybe it's worse. ]

[classification]

[ Except they probably would. Because Felix just doesn't know when to let anything go. ]

Yes.

[douchebag]

Are you still? If he comes here, what's going to happen?

[ To us is how that question really ends. ]

[classification]

Nothing. Just like nothing happened when the pink sim showed up. And I said back then that you have to trust me. That still holds.

[douchebag]

Do you ever wonder if I'm stringing you along again?

[classification]

Are you?

[douchebag]

No. That doesn't mean you might not wonder.

[classification]

I'm giving you a chance that you're not manipulating me again. Is it impossible for you to trust me when I say—repeatedly—that I harbor no feelings for Washington?

[douchebag]

It isn't impossible.

[ But he wishes as he sends this that he knew how to talk to Locus better. Or that he could say all of the things that he probably really needs to say to someone. ]

[classification]

Then why don't you?

[ Locus could probably learn how to talk to Felix better, too. He sucks at this. ]

[douchebag]

Because I still dream about dying more than I don't. It makes me think that if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have to do that. I don't know how I'm supposed to get over it if it won't stop happening.

[ He has to type it really fast and send it before he can look at it to get it out there. ]

[classification]

[ Well, shit.

Just shit. This is a conversation they need to have, but it's not one Locus really wants to have. ]

It wasn't about him, Felix. It was... it was about us. Me. I wanted to stop, I didn't want to follow them. You did; you wouldn't listen. After finding out what you'd done to me, I was angry. At both of us. I wanted to walk away from that whole job. We never should have taken it.

We both turned into something I don't know that we were meant for. I didn't want to be that anymore. I didn't want it to end the way it did. I'm not asking you to get over that. I'm asking you to stop thinking I'm holding some secret feelings for Washington. Or anyone else for that matter.

Better or worse, Felix, I'm here.

[douchebag]

[ It's probably better that they're having the conversation like this than out loud. Talking is easy for Felix to tune out when he's hearing something he doesn't want to be. It's not so easy to unread what he's read. ]

I didn't want to listen. I was pissed at you for caring about him and I was pissed at him for almost killing you with that damn ship. Figured if I just killed him and his friends it'd go back to the way it was. You and me. No fucking nightmare aliens or Freelancers getting in the way.

Should've known it was stupid. My plans always are.

Can't stop hating him. I don't know how. But I guess I can try to stop seeing shit if it isn't there.

[classification]

[ That's true. And very fair. Locus isn't so inclined to be ignored during the Serious Conversations anymore. If they have to have those via text, well. So be it. ]

I'm not telling you to stop hating him, but you do have to stop imagining things. There's nothing with Washington. There's nothing with Cullen. There's nothing with Traci. There's nothing with anyone who talks to me for more than a minute. That's what needs to stop.

Things can't ever go back to how they were. You should know that. We've done too many things for that to be an option. All we can do is keep going forward, not back.

[douchebag]

I'm dead, Locus. I know there's no going back. Literally, figuratively, everything-ly.

You're making it sound like I enjoy being jealous. I don't. It makes me crazy and then I do dumb shit and you get pissed about it. If I knew how to knock it off I would. You got any suggestions, I'd like to hear them.

[classification]

[ That's... not what he meant, but. That's something that's going to be thrown back in his face. Rightfully so. ]

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Stop creating these imaginary scenarios in your head. Trust me. If I can trust you that you're not just screwing around with my head again, trust that I'm doing this because I want to.

[douchebag]

Even though you want to be a good person and I'm still a terrible one? Because full disclosure, probably anyone else is a better person than me.

[ That's just fact. Felix doesn't feel bad about it. He thinks probably a person capable of being some mysterious definition of good would. But he doesn't and the only reason he obliquely cares at all is because this is important to Locus. ]

[classification]

Is it your goal to continuously talk me out of this?

[ Because that's what it's starting to feel like the more Felix protests like this. It's confusing and Locus doesn't really know what to do. ]

[douchebag]

No. My goal is to talk to you about my fucking feelings. But sure, we can just ignore them like we always do.

[classification]

I'm not ignoring them. Or you. I'm trying to understand where you're coming from.

[douchebag]

I'm trying to be supportive of this new you thing. But it's the opposite of me. And you made it pretty clear you don't like me being me on Chorus. I don't know how to do it and everybody else does so it bothers me.

[classification]

No, what I didn't like was you not listening. In fact, I still don't like that. I'm not ever going to like that. I'm listening to you and trying to help you change what you want to change. I can't do that if you're going to fight me every step of the way.