classification: (Default)
l☣cus ([personal profile] classification) wrote2016-05-08 05:52 pm

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douchebag: (54)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
If there's any inappropriate handling of gearshifts, you should absolutely take care of it.
douchebag: (55)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Fatally.
douchebag: (92)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Or let me handle it. I'll handle it.
douchebag: (95)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
You should teach me how to drive next.
douchebag: (83)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
And by teach me how to drive, I mean we should have sex in the car. I've thought about that too.
douchebag: (81)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
There are about 12 different ways we could do it, too. Yes. 12. I know. I've figured them out.
douchebag: (66)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
About half of them we can do in the front seat. I could jerk you off. Or give you head. We could make a game of it. Test your concentration. How long can you drive before you have to pull over.
douchebag: (51)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Once we pulled over, we could take it to the back seat. Or te hood of the car. Or the back of the car. Or the grass. Or against a tree.
douchebag: (126)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Must go faster.
douchebag: (139)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Next time you want to hang out with your friends, we should really fuck first. I'm bored and you're not here.
douchebag: (149)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You aren't answering your phone. Are you pissed? Why are you pissed?
douchebag: (148)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Just because you get some new friends doesn't mean you can just ignore me.
douchebag: (114)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Or is that how it's going to be? Disposable, right? Because I'll always be here so who fucking cares. Well, I won't be. Because I'm dead.
douchebag: (138)

d.

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Forget the milk. I'm going out.
douchebag: (65)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't say anything else. Mostly because he throws the phone across the room so he isn't tempted to harass him further. ]
douchebag: (61)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He really isn't trying to be an unreasonable disaster. It just happens. ]

It doesn't take an hour. It takes like, I don't know, three fucking seconds. One second you're pinned down by big ugly aliens and the next you're looking over at the new guy and that's it. Show's over.
Edited 2017-01-11 22:57 (UTC)
douchebag: (76)

1/2

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't like how I drive!
douchebag: (106)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
And maybe I had a lot of nightmares last night and it's making shit weird. Okay? There.
douchebag: (112)

[personal profile] douchebag 2017-01-11 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It's fine. Have fun with your friend. Just not more fun than you'd have with me.

I'm at home. Me and Leon are trying on sweaters.

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