[ All right. This isn't terrible. Felix listens without complaint and that's a good sign. Locus isn't going to guide him completely, morbid curiosity has him wanting to know what Felix does when he's like this. But he has to have some measure of control. Why? He doesn't really know. Just that he needs it. Emotions and feelings—even positive ones, perhaps especially those—are difficult grounds for Locus to traverse. ( Maybe they weren't for Sam, but Locus doesn't remember who that is or things he felt. )
He moves forward slightly, his other hand moving around the base of his cock to guide it into Felix's mouth. Something like this has been even longer than a handjob. Felix's mouth is warm and slick and in spite of all the firmly gripped control, Locus feels the want for more. Experimentally he rolls his hips, just to test, just to see. He's not aiming to choke Felix, he's not aiming to fall either, though. Just the right amount of space has to be given. This will do for now.
The one hand not on Felix falls back to his side, the other gives a small nudge to the back of his head. Locus looks down at him and wets his lips, his tone low, heated. ]
[ For just a second, he thinks Locus means to start fucking his mouth right out of the gate. That wouldn't be ideal—he hasn't done this in a while, a long while, and he's been operating on the assumption they were both going to work up to it—but he isn't about to stop it either. Discomfort can be borne. Fucking up actual sex with Locus cannot.
But he doesn't. And what he does do isn't terribly intrusive either. Felix flexes the muscle in his throat, loosening it up just in case.
Bossy, Felix thinks, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. He'd say it too, if he could, but now that Locus has committed this much, it would take some kind of natural disaster to get him to back off and start talking. Bossy is infinitely better than indifferent, even if there's a part of him that wants the absolute freedom to wow him with how good he is at this.
Felix has not been sucking cock over the course of his life for the express purpose of impressing Locus if he ever miraculously agreed to doing it. But he would also never be able to make the claim that it hasn't been a consideration in the back of his mind either.
He hums an affirmative acknowledgement of the direction, taking care to make the sound deeper than usual. Deeper sound, more vibration, and more vibration is better sensation. Rather than setting to immediately, Felix indulges himself in running his tongue over the head and dipping the tip of it into the slit. It's not enough to get an accurate idea of how Locus tastes but it's enough for the moment. Then he gets to work.
A few experimental passes of his mouth over his cock, lips tight to the shaft and tongue sliding along the vein, first to gauge how easy this is going to be, since finesse seems to not be on the schedule. Once he's comfortable, Felix tightens his grip on Locus' hip, deliberately digging his nails into his skin, and settles himself into a steady rhythm and consistent suction. The spray of the water makes it difficult to look up at him, so Felix gives that venture up almost immediately, closing his eyes and focusing on keeping his pace even and his teeth covered. ]
[ The vibration is nice. No two ways about it. Locus feels it and something tingles beneath his skin. He lets out another harsher breath, but otherwise doesn't make a sound. Not yet, anyway. He holds himself straight, free hand shifting to lean against the shower wall. This is fine. It is.
Strange to see Felix on his knees with Locus' cock in his mouth, but it's not as awkward as he was imagining. His gaze lowers, lids shuttering his eyes, as he shifts his attention to Felix. He hadn't intended to watch, but now that he is, he don't want to look away. Unsure of what it is—the passing of Felix's tongue over the vein, teasing at the slit, the bite of his nails ir some combination—pleasure curls itself through Locus' body and this time there's a little more sound to that exhale. Not quite a moan, but not just a simple breath either.
There's a small twitch forward of his hips—once—when Felix pulls back. He doesn't mean to, but his body has other ideas his mind is almost hesitant to act on. Not because this is bad, but because it's good and he's not used to that.
He already feels so fucked.
Locus tightens his hold on Felix, his hand moving back to shift through his hair. There's no intent, no guiding tug, but he's holding tight enough that there's really no intent to let go. ]
[ Even over the noise of the shower, Felix can hear the sounds Locus makes. Partly, it's because he's listening for them. But it's also instinct too, a veritable lifetime of being tuned in to everything Locus does, albeit for considerably less sexual reasons. And that's heartening in a way he isn't really expecting. It means Locus doesn't hate it. How anyone might hate getting sucked off he can't imagine, but no doubt if it's possible, Locus could find a way.
He's not, though, and that's good. Even if he's thinking about someone else while it's happening or nothing or... or work. Felix wouldn't be surprised if paperwork and other minutiae got him off. But it doesn't matter. He doesn't care. Especially when he feels that little twitch in Locus' hips.
There's no easy way to say it's okay, relax and give into it with his mouth full of his dick, but if he's getting that caught up in it that he wants to help, Felix won't deny him. Opening his eyes, he blinks the water out of them and makes a noise of encouragement. Not wanting to leave it at that, he gives the faintest of nods as he draws back toward the head of his cock, then tugs on his hip as he slides back down onto it. Another permissive hum and he lifts his free hand to rest lightly on Locus' other hip. There's so much more he can do with it, and would without hesitation if he thought it might not be too much too fast.
He curls his fingers, scratching lightly over his skin in as beckoning a gesture as he can manage, bobbing his head the way he is. It's fine. Go ahead. ]
[ If it was a substandard blowjob, Locus wouldn't like it. But, it's not so he doesn't not like what's happening. Locus might not be the kindest man alive, might never have been either, but he's not the sort to let his attention slip to someone or something else when in an intimate situation. All of them that he's been in, his focus has been on that person. Otherwise, what's the point? And when he focuses, that's it. His attention right now is where it needs to be: with and on Felix.
Isaac. Maybe he should start thinking of him with that name again.
That he can think about later.
That vibration around his cock again feels good and his whole body shudders this time. His eyes close briefly and when his lips part now, there is a low moan that floats free. Looking down when he centers himself again, he catches Felix's eye. For a moment he doesn't act, doesn't do a thing and just looks at him wet and in a shower, yet somehow still filthy. Another heavy breath leaves him and he feels too hot, his skin too small for his bones.
The moment passes and Locus' hands move, bracketing the side of Felix's head. Idly, his thumb sweeps a few water droplets off of Felix's face. Part of him feels like he should look away, but he can't seem to convince himself. So it's with that steady, intense gaze he watches as he begins to slowly roll his hips to fuck Felix's mouth. Watching as his cock disappears into the warm, wet heat of his mouth. It's enticing in a way he hadn't ever imagined. His own mouth is slightly lax as he forgoes breathing through his nose because everything is just too much right now. ]
[ Too focused on what he's doing, intent on actually doing a good job with a task, Felix isn't capable of responding to every shift in movement and sound Locus makes. He'd like to, he wants to savor every reaction he gets out of him, but everything's happening too fast and he has to worry about other non-sexy details too. Like breathing, not inhaling so much water up his nose that he starts to choke, not choking on Locus' dick, not gagging if it slides back into his throat too far, and swallowing so that spit isn't getting everywhere.
There's a part of his mind that's cataloging them, though. It's memorizing everything—the sounds Locus makes, the subtle changes to his expression, the way he moves—and he'll examine those memories later. No doubt he'll review them quite frequently and extensively at many times throughout the day for a week or two. Or four. The highlight reel is absolutely getting played during showers and other masturbatory opportunities.
Locus is watching him and that's both gratifying and weirdly... He's not sure what it is, only that he feels almost self-conscious about it. Which is so fucking stupid that he does his best to ignore it. And watch Locus right back. The effect is probably ruined by how many times he has to blink to keep the water out of his eyes, but he wants Locus to see him looking at him. He wants him to know that he's enjoying this.
He slides his hands around Locus' hips, keeping his touch light enough that it doesn't impede his movement. His fingers splay out over Locus' ass, for a moment doing nothing more than feeling it and reveling in the fact that he's touching Locus' butt and not getting berated for it. Then he squeezes, encouragement only, and utters a low, gravelly chuckle that's probably felt more than it's heard. Keep going, Felix is trying to tell him. It's good. ]
[ It's not an instant thing that happens. Having denied himself carnal pleasures for so long, this is almost like an entirely new experience. It feels good, he can't deny that. It's both a strange and exciting sight to see Felix down there, swallowing down his cock like he's been waiting for the opportunity for too long. Locus still holds a little confusion over the whole thing, but even that's getting hazy right now as pleasure begins to assume full control of Locus' mind and body.
He's warm. Too warm. The way his blood tingles under his skin almost makes him feel like he can count each individual cell moving through his veins. For several long moments he's overcome—there's a tightening in his stomach and his knees shake a little; Locus tips his head back slightly with a low, rolling sound of pleasure. It feels good and that's an experience he hasn't had in so long. It almost feels overwhelming.
Which it kind of is, all things considered. Locus fucks Felix's mouth in earnest then. Fucking into the wet heat of his mouth like he's chasing some foreign feeling and doesn't know any other way to get it. That feeling builds in the pit of his stomach and grows, spreading out over his whole body until he feels as if he might vibrate right out of his skin. Sooner—and sooner than he'd really like—than he imagines, he feels things change. Everything speeds up and slows down all at once and Locus is left in some odd haze as his orgasm crests. Maybe he should've attempted to alert Felix he was getting ready to come, but he couldn't. One hand clings hard to Felix, fingers twisted in his hair. The other he managed to tear away and hold on to the little bar on the wall of the shower to help keep himself in check in some minor way. He doesn't make much noise and he's fairly certain there's water up his nose.
His bones kind of feel a little like jelly and he doesn't trust himself much to let go of everything just yet. Slowly, Locus lets go of the tight grip on Felix's hair but leaves his hand there in some half-cocked way of soothing. He can't get his breathing under control just yet and still feels a little too high to come down. Without realizing he even closed them, he opens his eyes and looks at Felix, uncertain how to really proceed now. Sort of. He shifts his hand away slightly and nudges against Felix's shoulder then just leaves his hand out. Kneeling isn't comfortable on the best days, he can't imagine it is in the tub. ]
[ A warning isn't necessary. Sure, it's been a while since he's been in the position to give a guy head, but Felix has done it often enough over the course of his life that he recognizes the signs of impending orgasm even in Locus. Mostly, it's the change in pace more than it's that sound. Building pleasure is one thing, but this is chasing after it in a way that's all too familiar to him.
He lets the tension bleed out of him, lets his muscles grow lax and malleable as he abandons even a semblance of control. That's all Locus now. He just has to hold still, keep his teeth out of the way, and make sure that his throat doesn't tighten at the wrong fucking moment. The water's still getting in his eyes, not just from the shower but from the movement of Locus' body. Felix blinks as quickly as he can, not wanting to miss it when it happens.
And he doesn't. Locus isn't loud or theatrical even in sex—and now Felix knows that—but his grip on his hair is merciless and his come is hot on his tongue and against his throat as it slips down. Felix swallows it, unable to get a really good taste, but makes up for it by licking at Locus' cock to clean off the remainder. Not necessary since they're in the shower, but every drop is Felix's and he isn't letting it go to waste. It isn't until Locus lets go of his hair that he can move his head back, but even then he takes his time, easing off and sucking the tip clean before letting it go. He licks his lips, collecting saliva and little flecks of come, eyes on Locus as he slowly takes his hand. ]
Give me a second. [ It comes out huskier than normal, evidence of having just gotten his mouth fucked, but Felix isn't ashamed of it. What bothers him is the strange numb ache in his knees as he tries to get up. Under his breath, he mutters to himself; ] Goddamn it, I'm getting old.
[ With far less grace than he'd knelt down, Felix hauls himself up, free hand on Locus' hip for added stability. His toes and shins tingle with pins and needles, but it was worth it. So fucking worth it. One corner of his swollen mouth quirks upward. ]
Just give it a minute. [ The aftermath, he means. He wiggles his toes, then stops when that just sparks more pins and needles. ] Enjoy it.
[ Because he's still a bit sensitive after all that, a small shudder races through him when Felix sucks at the tip of his cock one last time. He exhales a breath he hadn't known he was holding and tries to reassemble himself into some form of order. Funny how something like this can leave him feeling a little bit looser, a little bit calmer. He doesn't think much on it, not right now. Later he will. Just like later he'll be processing everything that's happened tonight and trying to put some kind of word or feeling to it.
Intimacy is still foreign to him and right now he wonders if that is something that will ever change. If he'll be able to do things because it feels right in that moment or if he'll continue to ruminate on the right moment to act. It can't be easy to deal with. Locus knows it isn't on his end. He can't imagine it is for Felix, either. Maybe it's because of what's happened tonight. Maybe it's because he's still feeling not quite like himself as the haze of pleasure hasn't fully left him yet. Maybe it's because things are becoming less foreign and he just doesn't recognize it yet. Whatever it is, he can't say for sure. Except that something compels him to lift his hand to cup Felix's cheek and his thumb runs along the curve of his bottom lip.
The next moment he's leaning down to capture Felix's lips in a kiss. It starts slow, but it's not entirely gentle. He licks into Felix's mouth to taste himself there and Locus doesn't even know why he does it. Just that he wants to even if it's weird. It's not a kiss that lasts long, as Locus does pull back eventually. The water's going to start getting cold soon and they should probably wash up before that happens. So he shifts slightly to get Felix more in the line of the spray and grabs the soap, getting a good lather in his hands quickly before beginning to wash himself. ]
We should get cleaned up.
[ As far as sweet-talk goes, it's poor. But, Locus' tone is almost easy when he speaks and that certainly speaks louder than his own stupid words. ]
[ Felix isn't experienced in awkward moments after sex. The great thing about not caring about the people he fucks is the ease of the one-night stand. Not seeing his partners again means that there isn't any unhappiness to deal with over his leaving immediately after the deed gets done. And he's always done that. There's never been a reason to hang around. All anyone's ever been to him is a distraction.
But Locus is different. Leaving isn't an option; even if it would be easier than dealing with the fallout, he doesn't want to do that. He wants to stay. Because once isn't enough. The tiny part of him that's always wondered if he'd lose interest in Locus once he got him has gotten its answer: there is no enough. Despite how awkward it is and how he can't be sure what Locus thinks of the whole thing, there's never going to be enough. It's like an addiction, it's under his skin and in his blood, a constant demand for more.
The touch surprises him. The kiss even more so, though Felix doesn't hesitate to return it. Frankly, he'd like it to last longer and very nearly whines in irritation when Locus pulls back. But he's got a point, the hot water won't last forever and Felix is kind of cold, and it won't do to be pushy. ]
Yeah, okay.
[ He angles himself into the spray of water, and really, if they're going to do shit like this, they need a bigger bathroom. Propose larger house, he tells himself as he takes the soap, lathers up his hands, and gets to washing. It's quick and efficient, just like he's back in the army, and maybe it's a waste of an opportunity but again he's trying not to be pushy. And Locus deserves a little peace to enjoy the post-orgasmic haze, no matter how much he wants to yammer at him. ]
[ There really isn't enough room in this shower for the both of them. In spite of their difference in width, it's still not that easy to navigate without Locus banging his elbow against the wall ( which he does several times ) or the shower curtain ( which gets bunched up and knocked out at one point leading to a slight watery mess just outside of the tub ) or knocking into Felix ( which he does several times, also, without meaning to ). In the heat of the moment the space is fine because it keeps them closer together. And it would be an easy thing for Locus to position Felix right against him so they were flush and wash him himself.
But, that's not something Locus would really consider. Not right now. Not when he's still trying to remember how emotions and intimacy actually work and are applied to an actual person and not just a fantasy.
Eventually he does finish—being in the military and being a mercenary have taught him quick shower habits so he doesn't waste time—and gets out. As he predicted, the mat is soggy from shower water and uncomfortable to walk on with bare feet. He huffs a small noise but doesn't say anything and just gets his towel to dry off with. To further prove the point of Locus actually being relaxed, he doesn't complain about it, nor does he pick up his clothes. He simply wanders into the bedroom and finds a clean pair of pajama pants to put on. Task done, he sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for Felix to come out and when he does, he decides to give an offer. ]
We can finish the tree tomorrow. [ Because they do have to go get more lights, considering Locus cut up one of the strands and they didn't have enough to begin with. He clears his throat and feels so stupid saying the rest; ] And watch one of those movies you like up here.
[ Tomorrow morning he's cleaning everything up though. Early. ]
[ They really need a bigger shower. By the end of it Felix feels like he took a spin through the archaic washing machine that lives in the little laundry room. But he's clean and no one fell out of the tub, so he's chalking it up as a win. Even when he steps out onto a soggy bath mat. His nose wrinkles at the cold, squishy sensation, but he doesn't complain. Just hops off of it in a hurry, slips on the tile, and staggers his way over to his towel. He dries off, wraps it around his waist, and runs a comb through his hair quickly.
About to set it down and leave the bathroom, he pauses, considers it for a moment, glances between it and the door, and then heads out still holding it. He's surprised to see Locus sitting there, but the offer stops him halfway toward retrieving his own pajamas. ]
Yeah? Okay. That's—Sure.
[ Like Locus might change his mind, Felix yanks on a pair of pants, flings the towel into the bathroom, and approaches the bed. The comb's in one hand and the other's raised in a placating gesture. ]
Hear me out before you say no. [ He waves the comb for emphasis. ] Let me comb out your hair. It feels better when someone else does it. [ He gives a nonchalant shrug. ] And then it won't get all tangled while we're watching the movie.
[ This is such a strange night. Not the worst they've had—here or otherwise—but still a little strange. He can't really offer a complaint, though, which might be the strangest part of all. ( He could, but he doesn't feel a pressing need to have any burble up to the surface. )
Just as he's pushing back to settle on the bed and flick the television on—which it does flicker on to that ridiculous channel with the equally ridiculous movies—that request comes and Locus pauses midway through what he's doing. Part of him feels a little silly accepting it. The other, more sedated part of his mind, tells him to just do it because it will feel nice and maybe help bleed out the tension that's crawling its way back into his body.
He sighs softly and just arranges himself comfortably to sit on the bed with enough room behind him for Felix. He gives a small wave of his hand to give the answer for him before he speaks. ]
Fine. [ Again his tone isn't sharp. ] If that's what you want to do.
[ Hesitation can cost a man, whether that's in the middle of an assassination or an attempt at brushing a partner's hair. Felix doesn't give Locus time to change his mind. The second he's given the go ahead he moves over to the side of the bed and then slips easily into the space Locus has left for him. It's tempting to plaster himself against Locus' back and just... he's not sure. Wrap around him and refuse to let go maybe. It's a stupid impulse, one he immediately suppresses, but it lingers there like an itch he can't scratch. ]
Hair's weird. [ He says it casually, a normal conversational tone as he separates Locus' hair into sections and startz working the comb through the bottom of the first. ] It feels really good to have someone brush it when it's short and really good when it's long, but that in the middle shit? It's just not the same.
[ Locus' hair isn't a huge tangle. A few gentle strokes of the comb loosens the first section and Felix spends half a minute just pulling it through the wet strands, from Locus' scalp to the very tips. ]
Your hair's a good length for it. [ It's normal, boring conversation that Locus can ignore if he doesn't want to listen. It's normal, and Felix thinks maybe he wants normal after what they've done. Maybe also because of what they're doing now. ] I like your hair.
[ He doesn't pause as he moves onto the second section, though he does look up and fix the back of Locus' head with a curious stare. ]
[ Locus doesn't know of he'd call this normal. Normal for them is what upgrades to make to their personal armory or what brand of bullets is better or what their next move in a mission is. Sitting here talking about Locus' hair or what their shopping list for the restaurant is or any mundane topic isn't normal. For other people, sure. For them? Not so much. Beyond that, idle conversation hasn't ever been Locus' strong point. It feels awkward to talk when he doesn't have anything to say. Felix always has something to say and constantly fills up space with words. The majority of the time Locus finds them useless. Sometimes downright annoying. But right now it might be helping.
Even if it isn't normal.
Locus doesn't really say anything right away, just lets his lids droop as he stares toward the television but not even remotely watching. It does feel nice, someone else combing his hair. Especially considering he doesn't often give it much attention himself beyond combing or pulling it back onto some semblance of control. As much as Locus doesn't seek attention, he can't lie about how nice it feels.
He huffs a small, soft noise that's borderline amusement. Hurting him by combing his hair. Right. ]
No. It's fine.
[ He can withstand torture. This isn't remotely close. ]
[ No, maybe it's not normal for them. Maybe it's even more abnormal than anything else they might have done. But Felix is under the impression that normal people do domestic shit like this. The TV says that they do, anyway, and maybe it's all exaggerated bullshit, but there's got to be a ring of truth to it.
And touching Locus feels nice. Felix doesn't want to stop. ]
I don't know. I don't have long hair. [ It comes out faintly defensive, because he knows that Locus is laughing—his version of laughing—at him. But not terribly so. Because Locus is obviously enjoying it at least a little. ] Shh, I'm being considerate.
[ He moves easily onto the third section, quickly tackling the tangles so he can switch to long, smooth sweeps of the comb. He takes care to run the tips of the comb lightly over Locus' scalp for a little extra sensation. The task's almost meditative for him too, and he keeps combing long after he doesn't need to do it anymore. ]
You should let me do stuff like this for you more often. I could try my hand at a little massage too.
[ Though Locus is facing the television, he's not really paying attention at all. He's discovered he hates the movies and could really do without. They're mundane and he doesn't care about these fake problems that are easily solvable if these people weren't so blatantly stupid. And if there's one thing in the entire galaxy and beyond that Locus has no patience for, it's stupidity. So, his mind has since wandered from the 'will-they-won't-they-everyone-knows-they-are' "plot" of the movie. It hasn't been on anything in particular, the topics shifting before he can really grasp one fully to complete a thought.
Maybe this is normal. Sitting around with a partner doing mundane activities together with nothing pressing on the horizon. After doing certain things. To each other. For each other? Not that this is something he wants to make a habit of—sitting around and doing nothing—it's not the worst thing to do sometimes. Maybe it will help them both.
Sometimes. ]
Braid it.
[ It slips out as a low murmur and he didn't even really mean to say it. But it's still kind of damp and he'd rather it not stick all over his face while he sleeps. Locus clears his throat and glances back over his shoulder to get Felix in his line of sight; ]
[ That's a surprise. It's a little more participatory than he's really expecting Locus to be through this whole thing. Though, the fact that he is participating even a little is... something. Part of Felix wants to examine it and revel in it. The rest of him thinks maybe he ought to leave well enough alone, not try to read anything into it, and just enjoy it. ]
Sure. [ He tips his head sideways so Locus can see him better and offers a quick flash of a smile. ] Whenever you want me to.
[ Which puts control back into Locus' hands and Felix knows how much he likes having it. He goes back to combing, making sure that he's got all of the tangles out of it, and then gets to work on the braid. It could be fancy and intricate, but he doesn't want to push his luck right now. A simple braid will do.
It doesn't take long. Felix might not have long hair or sister, but he can braid rope. It's the same principle with hair. Once he reaches the end of Locus' hair, he pats him on the shoulder. ]
Hold still. [ Leaning over, he rummages through the dresser drawer, finds one of the multitude of hair ties they've got, and ties it off. ] You're all set. [ His fingers settle briefly against the tops of Locus' shoulders, tapping absently. ] We could skip the movie and watch a documentary. Or the news.
[ Maybe it's just the events of the day that have lead Locus into this sort of haze. He's content enough right now, relaxed in a way he can't remember being for a long time. If they do something else, he wonders if it will shatter the peace that's settled over them. Perhaps oddly enough, Locus doesn't feel like it. Might be a passing fancy. Might be because of something else. That requires more thought and study.
On a different day.
Right now, Locus is calm. Sedated enough that he doesn't care about the stupid movie. Right now, Locus could likely fall asleep pretty quickly. So, he simply shakes his head an murmurs a low noise in the negative. Then, he's moving over to his side of the bed and maneuvers himself under the covers. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it and exhales heavily out of his nose. Reaching under the covers he grabs something then tosses it over onto the floor. The answering jingle should alert that it is a toy of Leon's that shouldn't have been on the bed to begin with!!
He settles on his back against the pillows with one arm bent under his head. The position is open enough that if Felix wants to sprawl over him, he can for now. ]
[ Leon does what he wants! Though in all fairness, Felix doesn't try to curb either. He doesn't think about it in so many terms, doesn't really think about it at all, but in a way, it's his unconscious attempt to let Leon be who he is. God knows Felix enjoys being who he is.
And Locus isn't complaining about it. In fact, Locus looks like he's going to bed, which gets confirmed a moment later when he announces that intention. Evidently he's the sort of person who rolls over and goes to sleep after getting off. Felix isn't exacty surprised by this revelation, but he files it away for later anyway. ]
Okay.
[ Felix doesn't care what they watch anyway, though if Locus is going to sleep he may as well watch this stupid movie and learn more about the 21st century.
Getting into bed, he takes the invitation by plastering himself to Locus' side, throwing an arm over his waist, and resting his head against his chest. He can hear Locus' heart beating, proof that he's alive. To a dead man who spent his life trying to keep him this way, it's a comforting sound. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He moves forward slightly, his other hand moving around the base of his cock to guide it into Felix's mouth. Something like this has been even longer than a handjob. Felix's mouth is warm and slick and in spite of all the firmly gripped control, Locus feels the want for more. Experimentally he rolls his hips, just to test, just to see. He's not aiming to choke Felix, he's not aiming to fall either, though. Just the right amount of space has to be given. This will do for now.
The one hand not on Felix falls back to his side, the other gives a small nudge to the back of his head. Locus looks down at him and wets his lips, his tone low, heated. ]
Go on.
[ It's certainly not going to suck itself. ]
no subject
But he doesn't. And what he does do isn't terribly intrusive either. Felix flexes the muscle in his throat, loosening it up just in case.
Bossy, Felix thinks, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. He'd say it too, if he could, but now that Locus has committed this much, it would take some kind of natural disaster to get him to back off and start talking. Bossy is infinitely better than indifferent, even if there's a part of him that wants the absolute freedom to wow him with how good he is at this.
Felix has not been sucking cock over the course of his life for the express purpose of impressing Locus if he ever miraculously agreed to doing it. But he would also never be able to make the claim that it hasn't been a consideration in the back of his mind either.
He hums an affirmative acknowledgement of the direction, taking care to make the sound deeper than usual. Deeper sound, more vibration, and more vibration is better sensation. Rather than setting to immediately, Felix indulges himself in running his tongue over the head and dipping the tip of it into the slit. It's not enough to get an accurate idea of how Locus tastes but it's enough for the moment. Then he gets to work.
A few experimental passes of his mouth over his cock, lips tight to the shaft and tongue sliding along the vein, first to gauge how easy this is going to be, since finesse seems to not be on the schedule. Once he's comfortable, Felix tightens his grip on Locus' hip, deliberately digging his nails into his skin, and settles himself into a steady rhythm and consistent suction. The spray of the water makes it difficult to look up at him, so Felix gives that venture up almost immediately, closing his eyes and focusing on keeping his pace even and his teeth covered. ]
no subject
Strange to see Felix on his knees with Locus' cock in his mouth, but it's not as awkward as he was imagining. His gaze lowers, lids shuttering his eyes, as he shifts his attention to Felix. He hadn't intended to watch, but now that he is, he don't want to look away. Unsure of what it is—the passing of Felix's tongue over the vein, teasing at the slit, the bite of his nails ir some combination—pleasure curls itself through Locus' body and this time there's a little more sound to that exhale. Not quite a moan, but not just a simple breath either.
There's a small twitch forward of his hips—once—when Felix pulls back. He doesn't mean to, but his body has other ideas his mind is almost hesitant to act on. Not because this is bad, but because it's good and he's not used to that.
He already feels so fucked.
Locus tightens his hold on Felix, his hand moving back to shift through his hair. There's no intent, no guiding tug, but he's holding tight enough that there's really no intent to let go. ]
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He's not, though, and that's good. Even if he's thinking about someone else while it's happening or nothing or... or work. Felix wouldn't be surprised if paperwork and other minutiae got him off. But it doesn't matter. He doesn't care. Especially when he feels that little twitch in Locus' hips.
There's no easy way to say it's okay, relax and give into it with his mouth full of his dick, but if he's getting that caught up in it that he wants to help, Felix won't deny him. Opening his eyes, he blinks the water out of them and makes a noise of encouragement. Not wanting to leave it at that, he gives the faintest of nods as he draws back toward the head of his cock, then tugs on his hip as he slides back down onto it. Another permissive hum and he lifts his free hand to rest lightly on Locus' other hip. There's so much more he can do with it, and would without hesitation if he thought it might not be too much too fast.
He curls his fingers, scratching lightly over his skin in as beckoning a gesture as he can manage, bobbing his head the way he is. It's fine. Go ahead. ]
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Isaac. Maybe he should start thinking of him with that name again.
That he can think about later.
That vibration around his cock again feels good and his whole body shudders this time. His eyes close briefly and when his lips part now, there is a low moan that floats free. Looking down when he centers himself again, he catches Felix's eye. For a moment he doesn't act, doesn't do a thing and just looks at him wet and in a shower, yet somehow still filthy. Another heavy breath leaves him and he feels too hot, his skin too small for his bones.
The moment passes and Locus' hands move, bracketing the side of Felix's head. Idly, his thumb sweeps a few water droplets off of Felix's face. Part of him feels like he should look away, but he can't seem to convince himself. So it's with that steady, intense gaze he watches as he begins to slowly roll his hips to fuck Felix's mouth. Watching as his cock disappears into the warm, wet heat of his mouth. It's enticing in a way he hadn't ever imagined. His own mouth is slightly lax as he forgoes breathing through his nose because everything is just too much right now. ]
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There's a part of his mind that's cataloging them, though. It's memorizing everything—the sounds Locus makes, the subtle changes to his expression, the way he moves—and he'll examine those memories later. No doubt he'll review them quite frequently and extensively at many times throughout the day for a week or two. Or four. The highlight reel is absolutely getting played during showers and other masturbatory opportunities.
Locus is watching him and that's both gratifying and weirdly... He's not sure what it is, only that he feels almost self-conscious about it. Which is so fucking stupid that he does his best to ignore it. And watch Locus right back. The effect is probably ruined by how many times he has to blink to keep the water out of his eyes, but he wants Locus to see him looking at him. He wants him to know that he's enjoying this.
He slides his hands around Locus' hips, keeping his touch light enough that it doesn't impede his movement. His fingers splay out over Locus' ass, for a moment doing nothing more than feeling it and reveling in the fact that he's touching Locus' butt and not getting berated for it. Then he squeezes, encouragement only, and utters a low, gravelly chuckle that's probably felt more than it's heard. Keep going, Felix is trying to tell him. It's good. ]
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He's warm. Too warm. The way his blood tingles under his skin almost makes him feel like he can count each individual cell moving through his veins. For several long moments he's overcome—there's a tightening in his stomach and his knees shake a little; Locus tips his head back slightly with a low, rolling sound of pleasure. It feels good and that's an experience he hasn't had in so long. It almost feels overwhelming.
Which it kind of is, all things considered. Locus fucks Felix's mouth in earnest then. Fucking into the wet heat of his mouth like he's chasing some foreign feeling and doesn't know any other way to get it. That feeling builds in the pit of his stomach and grows, spreading out over his whole body until he feels as if he might vibrate right out of his skin. Sooner—and sooner than he'd really like—than he imagines, he feels things change. Everything speeds up and slows down all at once and Locus is left in some odd haze as his orgasm crests. Maybe he should've attempted to alert Felix he was getting ready to come, but he couldn't. One hand clings hard to Felix, fingers twisted in his hair. The other he managed to tear away and hold on to the little bar on the wall of the shower to help keep himself in check in some minor way. He doesn't make much noise and he's fairly certain there's water up his nose.
His bones kind of feel a little like jelly and he doesn't trust himself much to let go of everything just yet. Slowly, Locus lets go of the tight grip on Felix's hair but leaves his hand there in some half-cocked way of soothing. He can't get his breathing under control just yet and still feels a little too high to come down. Without realizing he even closed them, he opens his eyes and looks at Felix, uncertain how to really proceed now. Sort of. He shifts his hand away slightly and nudges against Felix's shoulder then just leaves his hand out. Kneeling isn't comfortable on the best days, he can't imagine it is in the tub. ]
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He lets the tension bleed out of him, lets his muscles grow lax and malleable as he abandons even a semblance of control. That's all Locus now. He just has to hold still, keep his teeth out of the way, and make sure that his throat doesn't tighten at the wrong fucking moment. The water's still getting in his eyes, not just from the shower but from the movement of Locus' body. Felix blinks as quickly as he can, not wanting to miss it when it happens.
And he doesn't. Locus isn't loud or theatrical even in sex—and now Felix knows that—but his grip on his hair is merciless and his come is hot on his tongue and against his throat as it slips down. Felix swallows it, unable to get a really good taste, but makes up for it by licking at Locus' cock to clean off the remainder. Not necessary since they're in the shower, but every drop is Felix's and he isn't letting it go to waste. It isn't until Locus lets go of his hair that he can move his head back, but even then he takes his time, easing off and sucking the tip clean before letting it go. He licks his lips, collecting saliva and little flecks of come, eyes on Locus as he slowly takes his hand. ]
Give me a second. [ It comes out huskier than normal, evidence of having just gotten his mouth fucked, but Felix isn't ashamed of it. What bothers him is the strange numb ache in his knees as he tries to get up. Under his breath, he mutters to himself; ] Goddamn it, I'm getting old.
[ With far less grace than he'd knelt down, Felix hauls himself up, free hand on Locus' hip for added stability. His toes and shins tingle with pins and needles, but it was worth it. So fucking worth it. One corner of his swollen mouth quirks upward. ]
Just give it a minute. [ The aftermath, he means. He wiggles his toes, then stops when that just sparks more pins and needles. ] Enjoy it.
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Intimacy is still foreign to him and right now he wonders if that is something that will ever change. If he'll be able to do things because it feels right in that moment or if he'll continue to ruminate on the right moment to act. It can't be easy to deal with. Locus knows it isn't on his end. He can't imagine it is for Felix, either. Maybe it's because of what's happened tonight. Maybe it's because he's still feeling not quite like himself as the haze of pleasure hasn't fully left him yet. Maybe it's because things are becoming less foreign and he just doesn't recognize it yet. Whatever it is, he can't say for sure. Except that something compels him to lift his hand to cup Felix's cheek and his thumb runs along the curve of his bottom lip.
The next moment he's leaning down to capture Felix's lips in a kiss. It starts slow, but it's not entirely gentle. He licks into Felix's mouth to taste himself there and Locus doesn't even know why he does it. Just that he wants to even if it's weird. It's not a kiss that lasts long, as Locus does pull back eventually. The water's going to start getting cold soon and they should probably wash up before that happens. So he shifts slightly to get Felix more in the line of the spray and grabs the soap, getting a good lather in his hands quickly before beginning to wash himself. ]
We should get cleaned up.
[ As far as sweet-talk goes, it's poor. But, Locus' tone is almost easy when he speaks and that certainly speaks louder than his own stupid words. ]
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But Locus is different. Leaving isn't an option; even if it would be easier than dealing with the fallout, he doesn't want to do that. He wants to stay. Because once isn't enough. The tiny part of him that's always wondered if he'd lose interest in Locus once he got him has gotten its answer: there is no enough. Despite how awkward it is and how he can't be sure what Locus thinks of the whole thing, there's never going to be enough. It's like an addiction, it's under his skin and in his blood, a constant demand for more.
The touch surprises him. The kiss even more so, though Felix doesn't hesitate to return it. Frankly, he'd like it to last longer and very nearly whines in irritation when Locus pulls back. But he's got a point, the hot water won't last forever and Felix is kind of cold, and it won't do to be pushy. ]
Yeah, okay.
[ He angles himself into the spray of water, and really, if they're going to do shit like this, they need a bigger bathroom. Propose larger house, he tells himself as he takes the soap, lathers up his hands, and gets to washing. It's quick and efficient, just like he's back in the army, and maybe it's a waste of an opportunity but again he's trying not to be pushy. And Locus deserves a little peace to enjoy the post-orgasmic haze, no matter how much he wants to yammer at him. ]
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But, that's not something Locus would really consider. Not right now. Not when he's still trying to remember how emotions and intimacy actually work and are applied to an actual person and not just a fantasy.
Eventually he does finish—being in the military and being a mercenary have taught him quick shower habits so he doesn't waste time—and gets out. As he predicted, the mat is soggy from shower water and uncomfortable to walk on with bare feet. He huffs a small noise but doesn't say anything and just gets his towel to dry off with. To further prove the point of Locus actually being relaxed, he doesn't complain about it, nor does he pick up his clothes. He simply wanders into the bedroom and finds a clean pair of pajama pants to put on. Task done, he sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for Felix to come out and when he does, he decides to give an offer. ]
We can finish the tree tomorrow. [ Because they do have to go get more lights, considering Locus cut up one of the strands and they didn't have enough to begin with. He clears his throat and feels so stupid saying the rest; ] And watch one of those movies you like up here.
[ Tomorrow morning he's cleaning everything up though. Early. ]
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About to set it down and leave the bathroom, he pauses, considers it for a moment, glances between it and the door, and then heads out still holding it. He's surprised to see Locus sitting there, but the offer stops him halfway toward retrieving his own pajamas. ]
Yeah? Okay. That's—Sure.
[ Like Locus might change his mind, Felix yanks on a pair of pants, flings the towel into the bathroom, and approaches the bed. The comb's in one hand and the other's raised in a placating gesture. ]
Hear me out before you say no. [ He waves the comb for emphasis. ] Let me comb out your hair. It feels better when someone else does it. [ He gives a nonchalant shrug. ] And then it won't get all tangled while we're watching the movie.
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Just as he's pushing back to settle on the bed and flick the television on—which it does flicker on to that ridiculous channel with the equally ridiculous movies—that request comes and Locus pauses midway through what he's doing. Part of him feels a little silly accepting it. The other, more sedated part of his mind, tells him to just do it because it will feel nice and maybe help bleed out the tension that's crawling its way back into his body.
He sighs softly and just arranges himself comfortably to sit on the bed with enough room behind him for Felix. He gives a small wave of his hand to give the answer for him before he speaks. ]
Fine. [ Again his tone isn't sharp. ] If that's what you want to do.
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Hair's weird. [ He says it casually, a normal conversational tone as he separates Locus' hair into sections and startz working the comb through the bottom of the first. ] It feels really good to have someone brush it when it's short and really good when it's long, but that in the middle shit? It's just not the same.
[ Locus' hair isn't a huge tangle. A few gentle strokes of the comb loosens the first section and Felix spends half a minute just pulling it through the wet strands, from Locus' scalp to the very tips. ]
Your hair's a good length for it. [ It's normal, boring conversation that Locus can ignore if he doesn't want to listen. It's normal, and Felix thinks maybe he wants normal after what they've done. Maybe also because of what they're doing now. ] I like your hair.
[ He doesn't pause as he moves onto the second section, though he does look up and fix the back of Locus' head with a curious stare. ]
I'm not hurting you, am I?
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Even if it isn't normal.
Locus doesn't really say anything right away, just lets his lids droop as he stares toward the television but not even remotely watching. It does feel nice, someone else combing his hair. Especially considering he doesn't often give it much attention himself beyond combing or pulling it back onto some semblance of control. As much as Locus doesn't seek attention, he can't lie about how nice it feels.
He huffs a small, soft noise that's borderline amusement. Hurting him by combing his hair. Right. ]
No. It's fine.
[ He can withstand torture. This isn't remotely close. ]
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And touching Locus feels nice. Felix doesn't want to stop. ]
I don't know. I don't have long hair. [ It comes out faintly defensive, because he knows that Locus is laughing—his version of laughing—at him. But not terribly so. Because Locus is obviously enjoying it at least a little. ] Shh, I'm being considerate.
[ He moves easily onto the third section, quickly tackling the tangles so he can switch to long, smooth sweeps of the comb. He takes care to run the tips of the comb lightly over Locus' scalp for a little extra sensation. The task's almost meditative for him too, and he keeps combing long after he doesn't need to do it anymore. ]
You should let me do stuff like this for you more often. I could try my hand at a little massage too.
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Maybe this is normal. Sitting around with a partner doing mundane activities together with nothing pressing on the horizon. After doing certain things. To each other. For each other? Not that this is something he wants to make a habit of—sitting around and doing nothing—it's not the worst thing to do sometimes. Maybe it will help them both.
Sometimes. ]
Braid it.
[ It slips out as a low murmur and he didn't even really mean to say it. But it's still kind of damp and he'd rather it not stick all over his face while he sleeps. Locus clears his throat and glances back over his shoulder to get Felix in his line of sight; ]
If you want to do this again, sometimes, you can.
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Sure. [ He tips his head sideways so Locus can see him better and offers a quick flash of a smile. ] Whenever you want me to.
[ Which puts control back into Locus' hands and Felix knows how much he likes having it. He goes back to combing, making sure that he's got all of the tangles out of it, and then gets to work on the braid. It could be fancy and intricate, but he doesn't want to push his luck right now. A simple braid will do.
It doesn't take long. Felix might not have long hair or sister, but he can braid rope. It's the same principle with hair. Once he reaches the end of Locus' hair, he pats him on the shoulder. ]
Hold still. [ Leaning over, he rummages through the dresser drawer, finds one of the multitude of hair ties they've got, and ties it off. ] You're all set. [ His fingers settle briefly against the tops of Locus' shoulders, tapping absently. ] We could skip the movie and watch a documentary. Or the news.
[ Fucking boring, but Felix can compromise. ]
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On a different day.
Right now, Locus is calm. Sedated enough that he doesn't care about the stupid movie. Right now, Locus could likely fall asleep pretty quickly. So, he simply shakes his head an murmurs a low noise in the negative. Then, he's moving over to his side of the bed and maneuvers himself under the covers. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it and exhales heavily out of his nose. Reaching under the covers he grabs something then tosses it over onto the floor. The answering jingle should alert that it is a toy of Leon's that shouldn't have been on the bed to begin with!!
He settles on his back against the pillows with one arm bent under his head. The position is open enough that if Felix wants to sprawl over him, he can for now. ]
This is fine. I'll be asleep soon, anyway.
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And Locus isn't complaining about it. In fact, Locus looks like he's going to bed, which gets confirmed a moment later when he announces that intention. Evidently he's the sort of person who rolls over and goes to sleep after getting off. Felix isn't exacty surprised by this revelation, but he files it away for later anyway. ]
Okay.
[ Felix doesn't care what they watch anyway, though if Locus is going to sleep he may as well watch this stupid movie and learn more about the 21st century.
Getting into bed, he takes the invitation by plastering himself to Locus' side, throwing an arm over his waist, and resting his head against his chest. He can hear Locus' heart beating, proof that he's alive. To a dead man who spent his life trying to keep him this way, it's a comforting sound. ]
Go to sleep, Sam. I'll be quiet.