[ That pronouncement leaves Felix staring mournfully at the section of hair he's holding in his hand. It's such nice hair. It doesn't deserve to be unceremoniously parted from Locus' head. ]

Just don't buzz it off. [ Current task momentarily shuffled to the backburner, Felix combs his fingers through the hair. Then does it again, ostensibly smoothing it out to make the sap removal easier. In reality, he's just touching it before Locus brutually murders it. ] That would be a crime against all that is nice in the universe.

[ Getting back to business, he puts a little bit of soap onto his fingers and works it into the sap. Probably it's what Locus is doing to his knee that prompts him to thoughtlessly continue talking. ]

Seriously. Think of all the people that see you every day. Their lives are probably boring and shitty, but for the few minutes they get to see you they're probably really fucking happy they got out of bed. [ He pauses, considering. Then he adds, grinning with a vindictive sense of spite; ] And also bitterly jealous because they aren't fucking you and think you're married to some gorgeous supermodel they could never top.

[ It's a shame Locus doesn't like posting shit to the internet. Felix is sure they could get a huge following if he posted all of those pictures he's been taking of Locus to that popular picture site. ]